1. Anorexia is a slow suicide
This myth is the one I am often the most angry about, as it is the least true. Anorexia is not started simply because one wishes to die. If one wished to die there are many more efficient and less painful ways to do so…not that I suggest doing that, please don’t it’s not good…my only point here is that Anorexia as the disease itself without the mental disturbances involved with it…is not…I repeat not…a slow attempt at suicide.
However that being said…sufferers of Anorexia do have a higher suicide rate than other mental illnesses. That could be of course due to the depression and the desperation in which the disease brings. Sometimes the truth is, is that the sufferer feels that there is no hope for recovery or a better way of life and so kills themselves to end the continuous cycle of agony which could have gone on for years.
Anorexia as a disease however does not begin with a death wish. It begins with a feeling of low-self esteem and low self worth, mixed with an obsessive compulsive personality which naturally strives for perfection.
Eventually that perfectionist nature will evolve into the demon Anorexia if the obsession is directed towards food and will approach the mind with promises of happiness, fulfillment and joy…none which are present in the life of its victim. Therefore manipulating the person into a false sense of accomplishing something by the act of starvation.
2. Anorexia is a Choice
I don’t know how many times I have heard this said…even by professionals! Whoever still claims such false things should be ashamed….as there is enough evidence both physical and mental and witness accounts to prove again and again it’s untrue.
If I could have chosen any disease on earth, any mental illness….the last one it would be is Anorexia. To live day in and day out with such feelings of discomfort within my own flesh is close to being hell on earth. However by the time one reaches that point the power of the disease has already taken hold. It can only be silenced if you are in an active state of starvation….and while immersed in such behaviour it digs its warped mentality deeper into the psyche…making its own voice stronger while diminishing the voice and weakening the will of its host.
I use the word host because to suffer Anorexia is like fighting another person, it’s a will in battle against another will but the destructive will is foreign….it has invaded the mind of its victim.
Even though I have expressed this in comments in the past on YouTube, it is not believed but I speak the perfect truth…! I cannot express to you how dark a mentality Anorexia can create in the mind and how quickly it’s victim can go down hill once it takes hold. I have succumbed to drinking too much, cutting and searching perverted material online simply due to the horrible state my mind was in. There is nothing Anorexia will not do to its host, it will lie, it will steal, it will manipulate those around it…the logical and moral side of its victim is lost in the haze of the maze it creates.
Soon the person loses touch with reality, as reality has lost it’s lustre and joy, the only feelings left of fulfillment is to starve and to destruct. Anorexia is evil itself. It’s only purpose is to kill.
3. Anorexics are Stupid
The most well versed people on the subject of Anorexia I have ever encountered are those who are Anorexic themselves. Since my channel was created and I shared my story I have had a few people talk to me personally about it. I also have a morbid interest in documentaries and films about eating disorders as I try to get a deeper understanding of the illness. Because alas…I know that even though I understand what sparked my own demise I am not stupid enough to think everyone experiences the same…which is why I want to hear accounts from other people. I wanted to see if there is a common theme between them all. And there is but I’ll only touch on it briefly….
The theme being is that people who suffer Anorexia are highly intelligent and highly sensitive people. Absorbers of not only their emotions but the emotions of others around them. Sometimes such emotions can be stressful, especially if those emotions are negative or abusive. I have come to believe that the feeling of hunger becomes a comfort, and a coping mechanism to those who develop Anorexia. I have not yet ascertained the very reason for this…but I’m sure there is a grain of truth to it.
The last thing an Anorexic is….is stupid. On a logical level…we all know the dangers. We know them by memory, we are walking textbooks on the dangers of the habits we partake in. It has been talked of on Pro-Ana…I have seen it repeatedly, I have even seen people warn away others so that they are not triggered to become worse. We know it is dangerous and we know it will lead to death. The only trouble with Pro-Ana…is that they have accepted a disease that is treatable. They have isolated themselves from the reality that what they are doing is abnormal behaviour due to a psychological condition. Anorexia is nothing to befriend! Anorexia is nothing to accept or allow into ones life. It might come as an unwelcome guest but you never have to accept it.
It will fight you and it will even knock you to your knees but always get back up and dust yourself and fight it again and again until it gives way. Anorexia might not be your choice once it begins in your mind but it is your choice to fight or surrender. Never surrender…..eventually you will win!
4. Anorexia is Painful
Anorexia is painful up to an extent. Again I’m sure this is very individually based so I’ll only talk of my experiences. Anorexia in means of feeling hunger that goes away quite quickly once the person begins to starve. An Anorexic person is physically starving but the irony is the person cannot physically feel it. I never felt hungry as an Anorexic…by instinct I craved food, I even dreamed of food but physically my body was too confused to feel hungry. It must have forgotten what food was?
I only recently discovered that my degree of starvation was not the common Anorexic type of starvation. In fact the degree of starvation I reached has a name….KWASHIORKOR. It’s starvation is when the body is devoid of its resources of protein and is often times seen during famines. The symptoms involved in this type of starvation was what I displayed by the end. My feet had swollen so much that the skin cracked and bled, especially on my right foot. I’m grateful I still have feet, as I’m surprised they never rotted off my body. They were so large I couldn’t get them in or out of my Ugg boots….when I did it was a struggle getting them out again.
My stomach was bloated as my liver had pocketed itself in liquid. This was often painful but not all the time. I had bouts of pain that came and went.
All of these symptoms although extreme didn’t hurt. My feet didn’t hurt in this awful state, in fact I could hardly feel my feet. I felt a bit cut in half though with my liver problems…although it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I’ve felt pain for most of my life, and that pain was relatively mild compared to what I have felt as a healthy person.
It wasn’t painful as it’s shown in movies…you simply become numb and fade away, if I had died I’m sure I would have just gone to sleep and not awoken. It wouldn’t have been a horrific scene.
These symptoms were cured within 24 hours after two blood transfusions and two blood protein transfusions. They gave me those at night time and by morning my feet were near normal. The amazing healing power the Lord created within the body is proof enough to me of his existence.
I think I shall leave out number five as you all know what it says….I hope to continue this conversation.